Kelly Maney . Life

Pain Management in life is required when challenges are overwhelming; when support or resources are not available. A crisis or a trauma is experienced where one is pressed beyond their comfort and character. Its a situation when one looses sight of one’s identity and resources in God. Consequently it becomes the test of faith or trying to figure it out with limited ability.

Faith during a painful situation requires remembering who one is in the Father- being his created one who has access to all things in His Son. Knowing His Chesed- loving-kindness and mercy to help in this situation. Crying out to Him instead of trying to “fix” the situation oneself. Asking for HIs perspective to access His resources to rise to the challenge of solving the problem.

We all have our limits to situations. We have our fears and weaknesses. Feeling alone or not able to handle the pain of the situation calls on our “pain management” system to kick in. Here are a few examples:

Pain Management

Anger – shame- humiliation.

Cain made an offering to יהוה and it wasn’t accepted. Not only was he “disrespected” in front of his God, but his brother and family. But Cain felt the most pain from his brother, Abel. Abel’s offering was accepted- fire came down from heaven and devoured it.

When have we experienced pain when a brother has received the favor we deserved? The fire of emotions can blind one’s rational thinking and tempt to do something rash. Cain held a grudge and later attacked his brother and killed him. That action ruined his life. (Bereshit/Genesis 4)

Disrespect- loss- loneliness.

Laban takes in his wayward nephew. He gives him everything- a home, a job, family! Yet after 20 years, he wakes up and his nephew- now son-in-law and daughters and kids are gone! What happened? He is clueless. (Bereshit/Genesis 31)

Ever try to build something and the people you were building it with are ungrateful? They don’t value you? They complain and make accusations against you after all that you have given them? Turns out Laban’s nephew, Jacob had some legitimate complaints. Maybe Laban’s leadership style needed some fine tuning?

High conflict family relationships can be heart breaking. You are each are bound by needs. But you are hurting each other by the way you relate. It turns out Laban was using power and manipulation as a “love language”. He treated his family members like “pawns” to benefit him. He did not use his position as father to grow the giftings his family members had. As a result, he didn’t see the consequences of his actions until he lost his family. Pretty tough lesson!

Overwhelmed- distraught- grief stricken.

Back to the story of Cain, he was found out! Betrayed by the ground he previously tilled! His brother’s blood cried out to יהוה from the ground. Cain lost his job, his home, and his community. Everyone was going to know about his actions resulting in his wandering the earth for the rest of his life. For one thing this is not something an “I’m sorry” is going to fix.

What happens when the pain of the consequences of one’s actions is felt? It’s devastating! It is a shock! It changes the reality of a life once lived. Did Cain take note and humble himself? Did he choose to walk circumspectly? The story does not tell.

But there is a tell-tale sign through Cain’s great-great grandson Lamech. Lamech touts to his two wives- the protection given to Cain is 11 times greater in me! That’s some arrogance! Cain received the promise that יהוה would pay vengeance seven times if a man killed him. Lamech is claiming this promise of protection 77 times just because he killed a man for wounding him and got away with it.

It looks like the violent outburst of Cain continued down the generational line. Lamech gets the protection without the loss and pain that Cain experienced. Indeed that looks like a point of no return to יהוה for that family.

Accordingly have you ever experienced pain and dealt with it in a destructive way? Have you lived long enough to see the same characteristics in your children or grandchildren? Likewise are you the grandchild that wonders why do I act like this? What is going on with me? Why can’t I break out of this destructive behavior?

The Life in יהוה

Some say the Torah or Old Testament is not needed anymore. But I say it’s the foundation for success and happiness in this life. The spiritual realm hold truths in יהוה to help manage your pain. To clarify, below are some Hebrew words that introduce concepts for the pain we are experiencing.

Sin– when one “misses the mark”. It’s like working with tools that make you mess up every time. That white lie, or insistence to have it “my way” may seem the best at the moment to manage the pain or fear within;

Hebrew: חַטָּאָה cha-ta-ah, Strong’s 2403, sin/ missing the mark

Rebellion– choosing to sin are better than the price of sin, a breach of trust in the relationship with God and others;

Hebrew: פֶשַׁע pa-sha, Strong’s 6588, transgression/ trespass/ rebellion

Iniquity– generational pattern of behavior, Exodus 34:6-7, contesting or denying God’s absolutes, a lifestyle or mindset contrary to God’s way that repeatedly brings patterns of death and loss in some way

Hebrew: עָוֹן a-von, Strong’s 5771, iniquity/ guilt/ punishment for iniquity

Exodus 34 uses all three words:

6 And יהוה passed before him and proclaimed, “יהוה ,יהוה, an Ěl compassionate and showing favour, patient, and great in loving-commitment and truth,

7 watching over loving-commitment for thousands, forgiving crookedness (avon) and transgression (pasha) and sin (chatah), but by no means leaving unpunished, visiting the crookedness (avon) of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.” (TS2009)

Trying to Figure the Pain Out

Reflection and questioning are the door to new beginnings! Additionally remorse and humility open the mind to the possibility of new concepts. This is a healthy consequence of wrong behaviors. You are blessed if “your face is in the mud”. This is a place to look for a better way. Presently this is a place to learn to manage the pain in a way that produces good fruit.

As the verse above states, יהוה is compassionate and showing favour to the thousandth generation. As a matter of fact pain management doesn’t have to bring sin or punishment into one’s life. Yahusha- Jesus came to give us life and give life abundantly. In other words a savior is needed who can help. He has suffered all the pain that we experience. Likewise He understands and knows the pain and temptation we struggle with. He is able to carry the burden for us, so we can live in the glory He gained.